.jpg)
TAKE ME OUT THE GROUPCHAT
Take me out the Group Chat is a podcast hosted by cousins A-Dub & Msdiiaa. This podcast will provide you antidotes, banter, advice and maybe even a little laughter, surrounding moments when we wanted to be either left out or simply just taken out the group chat. Follow and listen as we talk about topics involving family, friends, dating, world events, and more.
TAKE ME OUT THE GROUPCHAT
Cracking the Code of Group Texts, Communication and Digital Banter
Ever found yourself in the middle of a group chat faux pas, cousins Adub and Msdiiaa are here to regale you with tales from the front lines of digital communication, where emojis reign supreme and 'K' can cut deeper than a double-edged sword. Our latest episode unpacks the quirky world of group chats, the evolution of text messaging, and the undeniable influence of family on everything from your weekend plans to your Spotify playlist. Laugh with us as we share our own misadventures in coordinating hangouts pre-smartphone era and the chain message pressures that still haunt us.
Strap in for a candid journey through the annals of texting history, from paying per character to the luxury of unlimited messaging. We'll share insights on how the brevity of a text can spark a roller coaster of emotions and why sometimes, getting a simple 'K' feels like a slap in the face. We also invite you to stroll with us down melody lane, as we compare the beats of our past to the tunes we jam to now, all while dissecting how our kin have shaped our musical DNA. So tune in, get comfy, and prepare to nod vigorously as we explore the laugh-out-loud realities of staying connected in the digital age with your favorite podcasting cousins.
Hi guys, this is the first episode of Take Me Out the Group Chat. I'm Adub and this is my co-host.
Msdiiaa:I am Msdiia Welcome.
Adub:We are cousins, we are close, we have fun stories about when we were not close. Those are early years, so a lot of our group chats involves people that we know, usually our family. We will protect some of their names but you know who you are.
Msdiiaa:We definitely have group chats that we don't share. That we'll probably discuss here as well. So there's been plenty of times where I'm just like, like I don't want any parts of this like, take me out of this immediately. But of course I'm kind of low key, a little bit messy. I also like staying in the group chat just so that I could talk trash.
Adub:I actually can't stand a group chat for a lot of reasons, mainly because people don't have group chat etiquette. I feel like people don't read or understand or comprehend directions in group chats. I feel like back in the day, before cell phones and text messaging and all of that, three-way calling was a group chat. We used to use it a lot when we were planning something, so like after school, we would be like all right, we're going to go to the movies or we're going to go to the mall. So then it would be like who's all going? So then you would have to call and be like this person, this person, this person, this person's in. And then it was like okay, what time are we meeting? Where are we meeting at? Are we meeting at the bus stop? Which mall are we going to? Okay, what time does everybody get out of the class and who has to be back home at what time? And then what we would do is like the people who had the three-way calling on the phone, because I already had that.
Msdiiaa:So you oh, I didn't know that wasn't a universal feature. No, was that a paid?
Adub:subscription. Not everybody had it. So like you would call the person and be like all right, I'm gonna call such and such, and they'd be like bet. We didn't say bet back in the day, but we would call the other person, click over, and then you would. You would be like Miss Dia, you there, tracy you there, and it'd be like yeah, we all here.
Adub:Okay, cool, cool. We were talking about X, y and Z, and then if we needed to include like a Veronica and then a John, then that other person would click and everybody's there. Now, the problem with that, too, is that you get set up because if I call you three-way, and then you got beef with somebody and I said I'm gonna call them, but you be quiet that's how we used to use three-way, though, like we used to use three-way for that purpose, like so-and-so has a problem with me?
Msdiiaa:blah, blah, like mean girls.
Adub:So yeah, so it's kind of like that. I feel like group chats used to be like chain mail emails as well, where it would be a group of people and you send this and then everybody wants to reply.
Msdiiaa:I feel like yeah, when text messaging got real hot, it started with like the chain messages send to five people that believe in jesus christ and I'm like I believe in him, but do I have to? And if you don't, you're going to hell. What? I don't think it says that in the Bible.
Adub:I'm pretty sure the Lord is going to be like when I get to heaven. He's going to be like you afforded only to two.
Msdiiaa:You didn't afford it at all, you just looked at it.
Adub:You all at all you just looked at it. Your blessings go down. No, I mean, I feel like some of the old school christians would probably think that, though that is why you legit would do it you're like I just got this, yeah, and then it became a thing with the text messaging.
Adub:It would be like send this to 20 people that I don't know. I don't even know 20 people that I want to send this to. I knew 20 people. I just didn't want to send it to 20 people that I don't know. I don't even know 20 people that I want to send this to.
Msdiiaa:I knew 20 people, I just didn't want to send it to 20 people, because I don't want to continue a conversation after this, Like I don't want you to think I'm thinking of you. No, I'm just trying to get my blessing. I'm trying to be off the trials and tribulations package. That's why I'm sending it.
Adub:Okay.
Msdiiaa:Maybe if I would have sent those messages, I would not be on the trials and tribulation list. You will receive your. I would have received my blessing your life will call you in two hours to 20 people.
Adub:You think about if you were to send it to the 20 people that you knew they send it back? Yes, a lot of the times they would say include the person to send it to the 20 people that you knew they send it back. Yes, a lot of the times they would say include the person you sent it to. I don't want 20 of these, because you would never stop sending this thing out. You're like well, let me come up with another 20 people.
Msdiiaa:Well, that's why I never replied. Oh, I would just be like I love you so much and God bless you, the sender. But the way my spirit works, you're all thank you, but no thanks. I got other things to do.
Adub:We had that. Then you think it's a great idea when you're planning family trips or you want to discuss information, but we wasn't really doing that. Also, you have to remember text messaging was not unlimited. It was like 40 cents a message.
Msdiiaa:Like you got nits to send a text message oh, I wasn't paying a phone bill at that time.
Adub:No, no then it was. You send that to the person and someone would say you know, I get charged a lot of money, Can you call me, Because these text messages are expensive. And then text messaging became a thing where it was like unlimited minutes and unlimited texts. So you came around the unlimited texts right, probably.
Msdiiaa:But I also was one of the ones that was like my mom had a phone. I had the landline, my own personal landline, so when she would put her phone on the charger I would take it and sign an AOL and send AIM messages. Yes, aol AIM was my form of texting until I got a phone, and by then, when I got a phone, I think I had like unlimited texting, but I had like 200 phone minutes.
Adub:Oh yeah, so you weren't trying to talk. After what is it 7 PM or 9 PM, and then night and weekends were free.
Msdiiaa:Yeah yeah, my mom was strict, so doesn't matter if you have my fave five, fave 10, I can't call you during the week. I have sports, I have homework. I'm typically in the bed by 830, maybe even eight o'clock. I was always on restriction indefinitely. I didn't really get to utilize those privileges of the phone. So, like, yeah, text me. I grew up in the text me era, and as've gotten older, now I'm just like, like how, how was I able to have all of these lengthy conversations in a text or whatever the case may be, when I'm just like I don't have time to wait for that. I need to answer today, right now, because I'm in my, pick up the phone and call era oh, I've always been a pick up the phone and call.
Adub:Call someone, era but not me. I'm a little older and that's how we did everything. It was like pick up the phone. You know, we didn't have cell phones, I didn't have a, I didn't know I was, y'all was using pay phones and stuff pay phones and pagers.
Adub:I couldn't get a pager because unless you were a drug dealer or a doctor, you can't have a pager. My mom got me a pager and was like if your dad gives you approval to turn it on, I'll pay for the service. He was like, absolutely not. So for like two months I walked around with this pager, would randomly turn it on and be like oh, I'll check that later. And then I just thought this is dumb and I went through a whole like I don't want a cell phone. I only got a cell phone because I decided to start driving and I was like, just in case an emergency happened, I'll get a cell phone. So I had a cell phone. I only took it with me when I was going somewhere, but when I was home I used the house phone. That's everybody. That's how everybody reached me.
Adub:No one really had my cell phone number, only family had it. That whole I can reach you or contact you at any moment of the time. I was like I don't want people to have that much access to me. If I am not home, leave a message or call me back later, um, but don't call my cell. Like it was no. Like call my cell phone if you can't reach me. It was only as it became more and more popular to have the cell phone and where you're like I could be talking to my friend while I'm shopping, um, or hey, how do I get to your house? That kind of thing is where it was. My dad always had a cell phone when the cell phones came about with work and we would call it if we needed emergency stuff. We'd be like we need lunch or there's no food in the house.
Msdiiaa:Can you?
Adub:bring us something. But yeah, I literally was never really on my cell phone. I am more on my phone now to probably watch Instagram reels than I actually text message. I do talk I am a talker, hence why we're here. And then when it became a group chat thing of let's do mess, I feel like sometimes with certain group chains, I feel like I'm held hostage.
Msdiiaa:I'm not an Android user I used to be a long time ago but can you guys leave a chat? I think I could be like hey, take me out this chat. Well, on iPhone there's a button or like there's an area where you can leave a chat, like me. There's a lot of chats that I've been in that I'm just like I really want to leave the chat. I do more of leaving chat on social media than than I do like actually in a text message thread, but I know.
Adub:Oh, I can. It says leave group, we fancy, but this is a Google Pixel.
Msdiiaa:I feel like it's only specific to, so let me check to see if I can leave. If it was like me, you a couple extra people, one, two, skip a few. Yeah, iphone, android mix. I can't leave those chats.
Adub:But no, for the longest, longest time. That's why I felt held hostage, because I couldn't leave it, I couldn't put it on, do not disturb. Oh yeah, see, now we can. Yeah, and anything else. So I literally would be like, can you guys stop?
Msdiiaa:because people hold you hostage to what's going on or they keep going, going and going and during a work day or whatever, if you're busy, you're just like dang, like I'm glad that phones have updated to a mute button or do not disturb mute notifications, favorite button, favorite button ever, because I don't want to see it. And then if I go in and it serves me no purpose, I just go go in and I just delete it.
Adub:So it doesn't look like cause. I just looked at them on the group chat with two other iPhone users and you can't leave it. I can't leave it, but yeah, so now I can kind of silence it or have it where it's not a priority, it doesn't come up. Whatsapp is amazing, because I'm on a group chat that I literally push mute for eight hours because if I don't do that it's gonna be yes, and it like buzzes because I have not only my smart watch oh, yeah, yeah, but I also have my Fitbit and they're oh yeah, and it's yeah, it's not information that you, it's yeah it's not information that you need.
Adub:It's not pertaining to what is going on with your wife.
Msdiiaa:But is there really information that you absolutely need in a text message that cannot be sent in email? And I don't like email chains either. So, but I also don't like and we'll probably get into that subject later because now I think for me, I used to love text messages. I could do it all day long. Now, with me being a mom and work and all the things I'm on the computer at work, I don't want to, and we're on Teams and all the things I don't want to continue chatting via group or text or email for the rest of my day. Even when I coach, I'm just like, I love y'all, but like we, why didn't we talk about this at practice? Like why, why did? Why did you have to send this message at 5am? Don't you have a class to teach? Cause I'm an off-campus coach, like what is happening? So no, seriously.
Adub:When I started working in, my first couple of jobs were like phone call center jobs. When you spend all day saying thank you, welcome, how can I help you to randoms? When you get home, you're like no, I don't want to talk to you for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, about stuff.
Adub:I've been on the phone all day. I don't want to talk to you. So with text messaging it was a little bit better because you're like, I don't really have to talk, I like text messaging. When I first started using it was more of like here's the address, Like quick stuff Are you ready? Having long on like drawn out conversations where it's like paragraphs oh, that was me I never got into that.
Msdiiaa:Oh, I was. I was that girlfriend too, like whole 17 paragraph text, and I'm pretty sure that man was like he did like this delete my bad. Not even that, okay, oh, makes me even more mad. Now I'm going to send you 27 more messages to let you know how mad I am that I spent all that time constructing this whole paragraph novel about my feelings and you're going to K me. I got something for that ass. How about that?
Adub:do you know, to this day I can't just text my bestie k, because a dude did that to her. He went through her feelings and he basically said k and she went off it's a trigger and then she told me yes, it was a trigger.
Adub:She told me this and I was like note to sell do not ever text you. Yeah, one day, by accident I was typing, okay, and something happened. It just said k auto tech said k I said I texted her, but I said I didn't mean to send you k she called me right after that she's like no, I go.
Msdiiaa:no, I didn't mean to send you, is that? See, that's a whole nother topic, because that goes into like how texting has evolved, or like how everybody is so self-aware and has all of this emotional intelligence Everybody is their own mini therapist.
Adub:Back in the day it was the lingo of text messaging.
Msdiiaa:Yeah, I remember your brother text me IDK, and I was like Don't tell me you was giving auntie and you wasn't even full the auntie yet.
Adub:I said what does IDK mean? And he was like I don't know. I said why are you using if you don't know? And he said no, that is what it means.
Msdiiaa:And I said, oh, so once I learned that, I was like IDK, idk. But you know what's funny, tigger always used to go TTFN and I was like what is that? It wasn't until I learned later that that meant Tata for now, or like, yes, I'm like Tigger started this. What? Wait a minute. When you said Tigger, I thought about the rapper, the dude that Tigger. Is that his name? Big Tigger, I think so, I don't know. 106. He was one of the hosts. I didn't watch rap city. I didn't even like rap for real back then. Now I'd be like, oh well, actually, actually, actually, because now rap, I just be like who is this and why do you sound like this?
Adub:but yeah, I used to listen to, you know, green day and yeah, fall out boy and you know Green Day and Fall Out Boy, and you know, yeah, I remember those days, but also no shade to you because I was the same way. So back when hardcore rap was going on when we were in grade school and stuff they banned, like hip hop on the radio and stuff Like the most they would is Prince, and so I just got into my like yacht rock phase and everything else and then plus, uh, my dad was like I don't want you listening to that.
Msdiiaa:You know my mother, so we were listening to Disney radio, kid bop yeah, I don't even think kid bop was really a thing for real until I was like in middle school. But yeah, yeah, we were listening to all the things, which is crazy because my brother, his music taste is very. It's interesting, but I feel like my mom was a little bit more lenient with him as far as the music goes and I think I had played like the kids bop type version of music when you guys were younger.
Adub:When I picked you guys up.
Msdiiaa:I feel like you were listening to the radio.
Adub:So yeah, it was either.
Msdiiaa:It was radio or whatever country album.
Adub:That's when people talk about oh, this was the jam. I'm like I never heard this. My streaming my playlist. They are schizophrenic because I listen to everything but back to group see the tangent it was. That was a good one, though yeah, I feel like there are group chats that I feel held hostage to. If someone says this is a group chat, please do not respond in the group chat. Why are we responding in the group chat?
Msdiiaa:Because people don't read instructions.
Adub:It's like email me or text me separately outside of this group and that one person will text the group and then, because that person did it, everybody, everybody Permission to do it. Yes, so then the one person I who most likely will respond outside of the separately, because you follow instructions, irritates my soul, do you? I'm part of a church group chat. I can't remove myself from this one. That's why I said praise the Lord for what's out, because you can mute it for the day, because there's a lot of unnecessary. The secretary of the church group knows I told her I mute as long as they know.
Msdiiaa:As long as they know.
Adub:She goes. I know that's why I text you outside of the group, Because it's supposed to be for information about upcoming group stuff as far as meetings and check your email and there's a whole lot of extra and I don't want to be that person because I know there's a lot of like pray for me type of stuff like that. The family group chat has gotten a lot better.
Msdiiaa:I think currently, right now in my phone, I have the big family chat, mm-hmm, my family chat. I have two separate coaches chats, a godparent chat, and I think that's really that's the extent of my group chat and I try not to be a part of any of it for real.
Adub:I know I have the church group chat. I have my dad's side group chat, that's with all of us.
Adub:And I think it's 12 now, that's a lot of people, all of us. And I think it's 12 now that's a lot of people. Yeah, and then I have the group chat with us, the big one, and then I have the cousin one. I have two friend chats. One is more friends that I've met at work. That one is when we're planning something. Then I have a friend group chat, which is a couple of girls that I've met from work, but we hang out outside of that. There used to be a group chat with my friends from work that I could not stand, because there was a point where everybody wanted to be a comedian. I had a person outside I'd be like yo, yo, and she had converted over to iphone and was like oh, I just put it on, do not disturb that's it.
Msdiiaa:That's a great part about iphone, because I'm like do not disturb, yes, mute, there's non-group chats.
Adub:That I am like you again okay, yes, there are like individual text chains that I'd be like. No, I actually put certain text chains in the archive so I can't see it I don't know if iphone has that.
Msdiiaa:I'm a block champion. My block list is heavy. It's strong, um. So if it's like someone that I just no longer want to associate, I'm gonna immediately be like boop. It could be in the middle of you responding to me.
Adub:It could be a block because you're not about to disturb my peace I had a friend who blocked her spouse because he was being rude at one point in time, and she did not that's a whole conversation, because that's disrespectful and it was, but she, she did it for like the day or two, he didn't know. She blocked because he didn't have an iphone or something to that effect.
Msdiiaa:I was like the question is, was he trying to contact her? He?
Adub:was she. She did it for a whole, like day and a half, and then, like, put it back no, that's not like therapy.
Msdiiaa:But if I'm blocking the person that I'm in a whole relationship with and I live with, I need to seek help immediately. But that's just my own personal thoughts, that's. That's because why am I blocking you? Like, let's have an adult conversation. You're on my nerves, yes, but like we need to talk about whatever. I am nobody's therapist. I'm not a paid professional. I handle things the way I handle things, and it might be toxic, it might be petty or it might be reasonable and rational.
Adub:Right, we don't know where I'm sitting, but I feel like I don't block people because I have a fomo oh like in a sense no, maybe this person will contact, or need to contact me, and then I get to choose whether I'm going to ignore that message or not or if I'm going to respond. So I feel like if I block it then it's really out of sight, out of mind.
Adub:But that's why I put people to the archive like that text message thread because it is out of sight, out of mind, unless I need to text that person or unless that person texts me. But then it's all also like I don't want to delete the thread because I'm all.
Msdiiaa:I was a receipt. Yeah, I was, I was. I was a bone collector, receipt keeper um.
Adub:I keep the receipts that matter, so yeah no, and that's true, like there's, you know, um, it's not too many people who are in the archive and then also, if I don't text you a lot, you'll go down to the bottom and then during the year I will go through and delete. I like I have I just cleared out probably about 30 conversations. I'm like I'm not talking to this person.
Msdiiaa:Oh yeah, new numbers. I just said that the other day I was like delete, delete, delete. Oh no, I got some receipts.
Adub:Get that one.
Msdiiaa:Delete, delete, delete.
Adub:Yeah, before I would archive people or delete them or whatever, I would change their contact name to dna.
Msdiiaa:do not answer you merge like the dna's together.
Adub:So no like not to respond which is funny because if you save it, it will show up in your whatsapp because it goes off your contacts, which is interesting to see people's pictures tied to a telemarketing phone number. No, all of my contacts are saved with cartoon or superhero images, and so Deadpool is the one If I'm no longer talking to you. You got DNAna and then your contact is deadpool. If I see deadpool pulling up on my phone, I know not to answer that oh see, you're better than me, because I just but that was before, like block or anything else like that.
Adub:And then there's a certain point where I'm like you got the message we're not contacting, then I delete that person completely out of, so it no longer even says that person's name. That makes sense. Yeah, so this podcast we'll talk and discuss all of the different topics that goes down in the group chat, and there's also even sometimes when it ain't even a real group chat. It is an in-person conversation or a special event.
Msdiiaa:That is a form of group chat.
Adub:That's a. You know, take me out the chat. We all have that one person, either that is involved, that you're going to text outside of it, or, if they are not attached, you have that person that you say let me tell you what's going on in this chat. We'll discuss a lot of the spiciness, the wholesomeness, the irritations in and outside of the group chat. Um, if you recognize the story, you feel like the description of the person is you.
Msdiiaa:you can come on here and we can talk about it together. We all need healing. It could be a therapy session or just don't say anything. We're excited to be on this journey. If you've tuned in with us and you've got to this part of the podcast, we appreciate you for even listening to our randomness. It's going to be a lot of that as we learn and grow in this podcast. If you like what you're hearing, please follow and listen and you can hear us on wherever podcasting service you listen to podcasts on. Thank you for listening. To Take Me Out the Group chat. I am your co-host, msdiiaa, and this is my co-host, a-dub, and we will see you next time. Yes, bye.
